Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
