a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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