do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
