hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
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I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
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thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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