I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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