you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
