No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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