I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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