remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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