Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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