Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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