just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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