I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
