How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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