No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
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Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
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You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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