Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
