apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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