I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
porn star boner night. come get it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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