hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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