He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Let's get the cat blown out
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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