her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
