Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
