How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
