plz talk dirty to me
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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