Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
