You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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