im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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