I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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