gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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