he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
