I wanna bring you to show and tell
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
