Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
