You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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