i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When did we convert life to cartoon?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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