You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
