whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
