There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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