Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
