I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
