I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
