you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
