Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
