The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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