He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Im part way to drunk.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
we're so committed to being not committed
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow