plz talk dirty to me
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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