i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
