I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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