Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.