Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...

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  (407): Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you... http://tfl.nu/kmbk
  Replies (1) Good night (1766) Bad night (562)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked

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  (815): Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked http://tfl.nu/ct4t
  Replies (23) Good night (14084) Bad night (748)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again

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  (215): I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again http://tfl.nu/3rrj
  Replies (7) Good night (1144) Bad night (3020)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.

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  (850): my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster. http://tfl.nu/974x
  Replies (14) Good night (7822) Bad night (1469)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.

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  (631): He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer. http://tfl.nu/ikr9
  Replies (23) Good night (1734) Bad night (5792)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.

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  (270): He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in. http://tfl.nu/fxk7
  Replies (8) Good night (713) Bad night (3211)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.

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  (757): Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns. http://tfl.nu/p6ls
  Replies (7) Good night (1017) Bad night (1708)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?

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  (785): She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no? http://tfl.nu/2hle
  Replies (4) Good night (2555) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?

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  (607): Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised? http://tfl.nu/o7ko
  Replies (4) Good night (798) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...

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  (909): I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji... http://tfl.nu/rxc7
  Replies (5) Good night (831) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday

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  (613): Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday http://tfl.nu/1nci
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats

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  (717): I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats http://tfl.nu/ivyy
  Replies (0) Good night (335) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday

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  (413): Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday http://tfl.nu/ocr7
  Replies (2) Good night (291) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.

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  (814): i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy. http://tfl.nu/h82b
  Replies (0) Good night (374) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.

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  (847): It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later. http://tfl.nu/lbnp
  Replies (0) Good night (498) Bad night (214)

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