yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
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So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
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He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.