so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.