Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from

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(410): View more from Maryland

he was CRYING into my vagina

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...

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(206): View more from Washington

riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(613): View more from Ontario

Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.

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(720): View more from Colorado

There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on

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(917): View more from New York City

I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist

(209): View more from California

what is your life

(917): View more from New York City

Free champagne that's what

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