im about as happy as oj after his trial
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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