...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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