Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
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Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
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My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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