You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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