I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
