he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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