if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Two words: nipple clamps
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