So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
