Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
