how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i out mim tonsoeep
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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